Nervous breakdowns and such

I'm pretty sure I just about had a nervous breakdown today. Christians shouldn't have nervous breakdowns. It just shouldn't happen. Full stop. As believers, we should be able to trust that the God of the universe can and will take care of us. It's the way things should be. Are they always that way? No... but even as I was feeling helpless and on the verge of some intense waterworks, I thought to myself, "I should not be feeling this way. I should be releasing this to my Heavenly Father and allowing Him to fill my heart with peace". I knew it was against everything I believed in... I knew better.

But I was seriously *this* close to having a nervous breakdown. Or at least what I thought one would feel like. The biggest thing leading up to this "breakdown" was the fact that I had recently found out we had some serious vehicle problems that would be rather expensive to fix. It wasn't only that, though. I think the burden of finances, my job, our living situation, etc,  had been weighing pretty heavily on my heart for a while. But that vehicle... that did me in.

My husband, probably feeling a little defeated himself said, "I just wish we would fall into $50,000." I wondered why he stopped at something as preposterous as $50,000... I mean, why not a million? I responded with a sarcastic, "Well, THAT's not going to happen, so...". As the tears were welling up in my eyes on our drive home, some faint voice saying some foreign phrase broke my stubborn concentration on everything negative I could possibly think of. I think I heard it a couple times before it actually registered. "I am your Savior, Kyndra... not money".

It was simple, really. And it broke my heart. How could I forget, even for just a moment? Oh Father, forgive me. You alone are my good and perfect Provider. Not all the money in the world, not my job, not my wonderful husband (though You equip him to provide for me)... nothing will ever be quite enough, and You are always MORE than enough. My hope is in You, Lord. Help me remember that.