Learning to breathe

Two more days and I'll be grabbing all of my earthly belongings, sticking on my shades and flashing the peace sign to my little world for the past year.

I remember wondering at the beginning of the year if my stay at Bethany College of Missions would drag on far longer than I bargained for. At that time I was missing my family more than I could stand. Somewhere along the way, I got caught up in this little snowglobe of a world and now... now the glass walls are beginning to crack. What lies beyond this snowglobe, I'm not entirely sure. It seems like God shook my world a bit too much for me to see beyond the cloud of snowflakes. Maybe it's better that way... if I could see how everything will pan out after Bethany, I might not ever want to leave. As much as the unknown scares me, I'm excited to be a real Christian in the real world again... or perhaps for the first time.

Ah, but this year has been incredible. I can't even begin to explain or even comprehend all the miraculous things God has done in my heart. He met me right there... right where it hurt like hell... right where I could never trust anyone enough to enter. He broke me... but He didn't leave me that way. He built up and restored what had been lost or crushed.

I am new. I am beautiful. I am a precious child of the Most High... and I am in love.